Please place honorarium in unsealed envelope with my name on it in plain view, preferably on the bathroom vanity at the beginning of our date. If we initially meet in a public place, then please present the honorarium to me in either a gift bag or a gift box. Please do not embarrass me by making me ask for it, money is the one subject that is off limits for discussion. Always remember that my honorarium is non- negotiable; so please do not ask me for a discount. It's important that you truly embrace the dynamics of our unconventional relationship. If you don't enjoy your supportive role in my life, there is no place for you in it.
As they say, cleanliness is next to naughtiness. Cleanliness is of utmost importance to me. I will always be fresh for you; and I expect you to be fresh for me. You are always welcome to shower before and after our time together. And if you are a smoker, then please refrain from smoking for at least 4 hours prior to the commencement of our time together because I am extremely sensitive to the smell of smoke.